Courses For Non-Runners

Officially, my job title was 'Kitchen Porter,' and I got the reputation for being quite good at it. I've always disliked messy places and disorganised situations and I'm sure this trait helped turn me into a good kitchen porter. From what I heard the the previous kitchen porters had all been slow, lazy and had the wrong attitude. The way I saw it was, the quicker I washed everything, the quicker I would finish and have free time to myself. Besides, I had just spent four months doing absolutely nothing in Dundee and relished the the idea of doing something constructive. Granted, it was only keeping a kitchen clean but I was learning new things and feeling vital again. I was one of the worlds greatest dishwashers, totally professional and dedicated to the job. College hotel and catering courses would find out about me and want to know my secrets. I was a dishwashing phenomenon. It was only a matter of time before I went 'International'. I'd soon be getting requests to do seminars and lectures on dishwashing from LA to Hong Kong. It was only a matter of time before my 'genius' in the sink was discovered.

Extract from Courses For Non-Runners. A Magnetto Influence Novel.